I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
