my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we made out on top of his cat.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
