If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
