dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
