Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I die, sorry about rent.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
