Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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