Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
