Your mouth is God's brothel.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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