Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
