We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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