i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
