It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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