OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
