sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they need to just BURY HIM!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
