2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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