It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We just shotgunned beers for America
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
