Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
