He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
