My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
