I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
