She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who died my cat blue again?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize