If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
