I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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