Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
