They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
