Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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