Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
