all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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