so let's talk penis.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
