we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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