I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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