isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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