you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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