I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
