dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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