I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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