She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
