U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
