we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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