How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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