I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
