I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
