My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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