Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Everything about him screamed your future.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
