what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize