I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
