bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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