I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
