You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
