I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize