I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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