brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
