i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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