Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize