Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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