He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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