plz talk dirty to me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
