the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
