Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
